10 Steps to Improve
your Life, Lisa Barlow Stylie! - But only if you want to of course!
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| When the sun sets you want to be able to look back and say ' Today was a good day' The quality of your days equals the quality of your life |
1. Be brave enough to take the journey
inwards – Identify the areas in your life you are unfulfilled in. Be honest with yourself, when you are shown the mirror, don't avert your eyes, it is a chance to learn. Ask
your closest friends to do you a skills and qualities audit of their perception of your strengths
and weaknesses. This takes courage as if your friends are honest they may tell
you things that you might not like to hear.
However, this can be extremely useful for your own personal development as you may
find there are certain traits which you can address which will help you to achieve what you say you want. Keep helpful thoughts and behaviours, ditch
unhelpful ones and practice ‘act as if’ to develop new helpful behaviours.
2. Be resilient and don’t give up. Practice
these new behaviours everyday – Accordingly to some mind specialists, it takes
21 days for something to become a habit if done every day. This is any skill or
quality such as learning a new sport, language, computer course, kindness,
listening, empathy, starting a conversation with a stranger, giving an honest
opinion etc. Whether it’s true about the 21 days I know that with practice and
repetition new behaviours form. Take responsibility for your life and avoid blaming or becoming a victim of circumstance. Your attitude towards your circumstance is the one thing you will always have control over. Feel your feelings but don't dwell in the negative, accept the learning then shift your focus to uplifting things or people.
3. Continually stretch your comfort
zones. I believe this is one of the most effective ways to build an inner self
confidence. If you never face your fears you will avoid the possibility of
having lots of fun and adventure.
4. There is no such thing as failure, only
feedback. If you adopt this approach to anything you turn your hand to in life
then you will find a lifelong love for learning from all experiences in
life. Those that are painful and those
that are joyful. Life is the largest, most prestigious university you will ever
attend and what you learn through your life experiences will determine how successful
you will become. What you will be remembered for by those closest to you isn’t
always what you said or did, it will be how you made other people feel.
5. If you want to get better at
something find someone who does the skill well and model them. Ask questions to find out how they do what
they do. Yes, talent can be a defining factor between the good and the great
but I will guarantee you will improve your skill if you commit to practice on a
daily basis. Who knows how good you can really be if you give yourself permission to be great.
6. Live mindfully. Today is the only time we have. Yesterday has
gone and tomorrow doesn’t exist. Enjoy
the wonderful ‘free’ pleasures we are given such as health, friendships, laughter
and nature. Never take those you love for granted for we all suffer loss at
some point in our lives. We’re only here for a short time so remember to stop
and smell the roses and tell those important people in your life how very
special they are to you.
7. Empathise – Learn how to put yourself
in someone else’s shoes. You don’t have
to agree with how they choose to live their life but trying to understand their
position, their perception of the world, may help to have better quality relationships. Having this skill alone can save friendships, avoid
family feuds and save a great deal of suffering for both parties. Learn how to listen non-judgementally with an open heart, and to challenge compassionately when you disagree.
8. Be generous with your time, words,
love and money. A generous spirit is an attractive one. Focus on what you give, not what you get.
Become altruistic, give for giving’s sake as this alone will make you feel good
about yourself. If you really don't want to give, don't. Get rid of 'have to' and 'should', use 'choose to' instead. Take back control of your life. Be kind to yourself with your thoughts, self talk and actions.
Think about the words you use and how you talk to others. Remember that maybe
the only time to say anything is when what you have to say is better than what
a silence would have been. This doesn’t mean not giving people constructive feedback to help them
develop as human beings, it is more about how you say something rather than
what you say that causes offence.
9. Get active! Find something you enjoy doing that requires
you to move more than usual. Walk, dance, skip, hop on one leg, hula hoop, run
up and down the stairs, whatever you like to do that gets that heart rate
pumping but get it pumping you must. Getting more oxygen to your brain helps
increase your feel good hormones yippee!!
10.
Keep
a sense of humour – Who said that we have to take life so seriously? Yes, there will be times of pain and
suffering but in the space in between much of the pain and suffering is just
what we create for ourselves in our minds.
I should know I create my fair share! Know what your outcome is and
accept that the only thing you can ever control is your response to any given
circumstance or interaction with any other human being. Try stepping out of
yourself in the midst of an ‘emotional episode’ it’s likely you look laughable.
Learn to laugh at yourself.
Once we start to realise that in the grand
scheme of things we’re not that important and the world doesn’t revolve around
us and only us then we can start to really be the Captain of our own ship. Relationships will improve as a result of
every one of us working on ourselves. Sometimes it’s really not that important
to get your own way, sometimes it is.
Know the values that are most important to you and let the other stuff
go. Forget trying to control situations outside of you. Know you did your best
and that your best will always be enough.
If you didn’t do your best, accept the learning and make a commitment to
do differently next time. Replace ‘if
only’ with ‘next time’ and take real control of your own life. Know what you feel and get good at naming your
emotions. Be honest, be vulnerable, let
people help you. Stop comparing yourself
to others, your perception of your life is yours alone. If you do compare,
have compassion for those who have greater sufferings to bear.
Do what you want in life but be prepared to accept the
consequences of your actions. Don’t
blame others for your experiences of life, take responsibility and learn from them. Always be prepared to have your beliefs
challenged. We only know what we know at
any given time because we have been given this information from somewhere else,
very often we don’t check out the reliability of the source either. Remember: People thought the world was flat
until someone was brave enough to test this theory out and prove it wrong!
Personal Development is a lifelong commitment to find your Nirvana, it’s alive and kicking in each
and every one of us! Now go find yours.........But only if you want to x
For one to one coaching or information on up and coming workshops please contact Lisa Barlow at Bare Health on 01260 408413
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